On dying and dreaming

From the time I spent my nights sitting dead by the bed of old dying ladies, making wishes

Puste fiskeslo. I newer know it took so long time to die. For a while you are there, breathing for her. But it goes on forever.


Then and now. Portraits of her as a young beautiful woman. Much younger, and far more beautiful than me. But I newer knew her that way. To me she was always very old, very wrinkely, very senile, with teddy bears, dry plants and pictures of great grandchildren on her shelf, and far far away. I wonder where I will dy. Will I be old, and will there be some young person who doesn't know me at all sitting by my side? (for 30 dollars an hour)
Do I help her by being here? Or was she already gone? Long time ago..


Death and desire. He looks 20 years older than he really is. Is that desire? Loops in time. My monsters have crawled out and sit by her side, while I look at pictures on my laptop & get lost in my own life. Are there slaughterknives down to the left? That is truly disturbing..